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Isa's Story

November 17th, 2017

Just When I thought

Posted by teri in Uncategorized    

I could walk into the house after work with a belief that I could relax and not clean the house before dinner. HA! Roxy has been quiet the past couple of weeks (yes, one notable exception discussed below). We have been of free of redecorating since my last post – a month almost exactly.

She was just saving it up.

I thought I was safe – the toilet paper is now kept in locations inconvenient to canine and human alike. It never occurred to me she might move on to paper towels. Foolishly, I thought the paper towels out of her reach, located as they were in the furthest corner of my U-shaped kitchen counter – I can barely reach them. Once again, wrong, wrong, wrong. But an easy clean-up.


I have now learned that my living room rug is exactly the color of whole wheat spaghetti. Do you know how hard it is to vacuum up spaghetti? Easy to break it up with the vacuum to the necessary small bits but in doing so, the bits bounce. Everywhere. And disappear into the same-colored rug. I spent a good half hour vacuuming an 8×10 space.

And “someone” sulked the remainder of the evening, evidently due to my sin of picking up her snack.

I’m left with several questions:

  1. How did she reach the paper towels and pasta jar? They were next to each other in the far back corner.
  2. How did she carry the glass canister (3″ on a side) from the kitchen to the living room – without spilling any of it? There was not a single piece of pasta on the floor between Point A and Point B. One might think she’d eaten it but a clean sweep of one section of the floor and not the other makes little sense.
  3. For that matter, how did she not break the canister? She has dew claws but not thumbs. Maybe she’s magic?

Also in the “magic” category – something I did not notice until bedtime (much to Wallee’s dismay) – Roxy had cleaned out Wallee’s food dishes that live on a shelf a full five feet off the floor. Roxy has pulled the dishes down from there before now, to the destruction of the dishes. This time, they were neatly stacked on top of one another. How did she do that?

UPDATE and Mystery solved!

Same scenario when I got home last night – Wallee’s dishes licked clean and unbroken. I put some more kibble in and went upstairs to change my clothes. … Strange noises from downstairs … I race down the stairs, hollering at Roxy from the halfway point, just on principle. I come around the corner at the bottom of the stairs and look into the kitchen

(are you ready for this?)

She is standing on top of the kitchen counter. I did not manage a photo but I have made a special re-creation just for y’all.

Obviously the picture is not to scale – Roxy is bigger than that. Also, she does, in fact, have back feet in real life. So my kangaroo/mountain goat dog has been hopping up onto the counter and standing on the pass through (if not worse) to reach Wallee’s bowl. Said bowl is now moved further down the shelf, which terrifies me in the event Roxy decides to walk along the (not entirely stable) shelf to reach the prize. In the hopes of avoiding that scenario, I left a dining room chair upside down on the counter. All things considered, I am only vaguely optimistic that has kept her off the counter in my absence.

I do not have a clue what I’m going to do about this. Move furniture on a daily basis? It’s one thing for a 10 pound cat to walk on the counter, quite another for an 80 pound dog. For the first time since I moved into this place, I’m glad the counters are beat-to-hell laminate. If only she would stop eating other people and dogs, we could do some agility training. Clearly she’d be good at it.

I cannot win – but we knew that. Any suggestions for the immediate issue are massively welcome.

The scope of this week’s antics are probably in celebration for coming off our ten-day house arrest. During that period, I have been … let’s go with “tweaked” with her and she’s been (relatively) quiet and subdued. I was also coming home at lunch on work days to let her out to potty. Some of the above may have to do with her displeasure at my noon-time absence.

Why were we on house arrest? Excellent question and the answer is one I have yet to find some/much/any humor in. Two weeks ago I was working in the garage and had the “big” door open. Unfortunately, the door into the house was not latched (because I’m a dumb ass) and Roxy pushed through. She hit the edge of the garage, took off at full speed, and bit the neighbor (who was innocently weeding her front yard). And this was the nice neighbor that has made such an effort with Roxy, put up with so much from her. I grabbed Roxy and hauled her back to the house and went back to check on the neighbor. The bite could have been worse, but that’s my take on it and arguably I’m not objective. I won’t bore y’all with the gory details but paramedics and animal control turned up, reports were filed, tickets issued and house arrest ordered.

So we’ve gotten through that. I am now completely vigilant about doors at the front of the house, something I should have been doing all along. I do not understand, have no clue, what she was thinking, why she did that. It felt/feels out of character to me but, again, I am not objective.

I guess we’ll call it a mixed month and move on. Sorry to have rambled on so very long and even sorrier to end on a bummer story. I have no doubt the Roxy antics will continue – at least until the house falls down around our ears. Then I’ll just post from the rubble.

Happy Friday everyone!

jamm rekk

Teri and the Roxinator and Angel Isa



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